I am feeling emotional this morning. But not a bad emotional. Not a regretful, fatalistic, and depressed emotional. Instead, I find I am moved close to tears by various postings and pictures on facebook and other sites that reaffirm my beliefs and values – that show I am on the right path for me and my life.

I am experiencing gratitude at an emotional level. It feels good. I like that I can now experience this type of emotion. When I was using drugs and alcohol I could not experience an honest emotional feeling if my life depended on it – and it did. Because by not experiencing my God-given emotions I was dying by way of an emotional neuropathy.

This emotional gratitude is a reminder to me that, like all pleasant emotions and emotional states, it is not constant and ever-present, but earned through actions – the next right behaviors – the application of structure and discipline with a large dose of faith.

Today it is brought to my attention that gratitude is not just an intellectual understanding of the benefits of my life, but also an emotional understanding. It is one of those rare concepts that can be both irrational and logical.

And yes, this fails in every way to adequately describe what I am truly experiencing. Sigh. The trails and tribulations of being a writer.

I have never heard a better description of faith:

Uh, yeah. Cool. Except, well….. there are more out there. The two that were identified in the videos were not the only ones. This attempt at closure by the authorities is misplaced. And trust me when I say they are all talking as if this chapter is closed. As a counselor, I work at creating closure quite regularly.

But closure is about an ending. The bombing on Monday, and the resultant man hunt are but a start. It is not even close to an ending.

Do not get me wrong. I believe that the actions this past week by all the agencies involved was by far some of the strongest proof that terrorism is best handled by police work, not military intervention. I also believe that the agencies did bring their A-game. They kicked ass.

It is the attempted effort at closure that I am having difficulty in accepting. There are more out there; of this I have no doubt. It is one thing to discuss what has occurred so far in this case; to share information to give the population a sense of security. It is another to give an impression that everything is now done. Everything is not done. There is still more police and investigative work to be completed. There are more terrorists to apprehend.

Okay, I managed to get myself shoveled out of the driveway. Now comes the real test; can I get down the unplowed road? Thankfully a good sized pickup drove by, creating two large ruts I should be able to follow. Wish me the best! I am going to try and get to work.

I am hoping for a good outcome to an already tragic situation in Boston. My thoughts are to the good people there, and to the courageous men and women of the law enforcement agencies as they search for the suspect.

Holy crap! I have over 12 inches blocking my front door. I managed to open it about a third of the way. But that is it. Meanwhile, the State of Minnesota, being ignorant and stubborn, has yet to declare a weather emergency in this part of the state. So, I am still expected to make it to work. I am not going to make it, but I am expected.

Sigh. And the town I live in does not have a road crew. That means no plowing of the streets. So, even if I could get my ass out the front door and shovel the foot of snow off my car and out of my driveway, I am not making it down the road. I called work, they know I am not going to make it on time. Hell, if they do not plow my road today, I will not make it in at all.

Oh well. I am enjoying my hot, black, strong coffee and listening to the news about the Snowpocalypse and the continuing saga in Boston.

Via that God of Facebook, George Takei:

By now everyone has heard about Roger Ebert’s passing. I have no need to supply links to any news articles. Here, though, is a link to where is column resides. I have been on the edge of sadness since hearing about his death. Finally, this morning I have found myself crying. I can not say why his death is so meaningful. Perhaps it is due to his having made me look at  movies so much more then simple jokes, frights, fights, or sex sense.

His reviews with Gene Siskel on “At The Movies” were at times monumental clashes of opinion with the ultimate conclusion for them to agree to disagree. I remember when they first came on the air, before “At The Movies,” there was the appearance they did not like each other. Yet, over the years, you could see a deep friendship develop. In some ways, I wonder if that was more of a draw to watch the show than the movies they reviewed.

I see Roger Ebert’s passing as an end of an era. May he find the movies of the afterlife to be as dramatic, funny, and moving as the best he watched here on Earth.

I have a cold which is causing a pinch in my neck. This always happens. I am going to take a couple of ibuprofen and hope it mellows out. After all these years I have learned that the pain never really goes away.

Via cookie jill over at skippy, my favorite marsupial:

‘nough said.